Supporting My Warrior: Navigating My Wife’s Breast Cancer Journey
When my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, our lives changed in an instant. As we faced this unexpected challenge together, I learned the true meaning of partnership, strength, and unwavering support. This journey has been one that impacted and changed our families, and I want to share what it’s been like to stand by my wife’s side as her biggest supporter..
The Shock of Diagnosis
Hearing the words “you have breast cancer” instantly I knew my role was to be a voice of rationaling and show a positive front at all times. In that moment, her life shifted, and battling cancer was going to be her primary role, and there were things I needed to do to step up and support her. The initial shock brought waves of fear and uncertainty to her, but we quickly realized that we needed to channel our energy into understanding what lay ahead. She explains the experience when she heard the news as going numb and couldn’t process what the doctors were telling her. Her energy was turned on the negative and what she would have to endure, my energy was supporting her and showing her everything was going to be okay when all was said and done.
Embracing the Role of Supporter
From the beginning, I knew my role was to be her unwavering support. When your wife has breast cancer, you need to show empathy. Empathy for what she is going through, emotionally, physically, and mentally. It was important for me to remind her that she wasn’t alone in this fight. I wanted her to feel empowered, to know that she was a warrior facing this challenge head-on.
Learning
We dove into research, learning everything we could about breast cancer, treatment options, and support resources. Knowledge became a source of comfort. We attended medical appointments together, took notes, and asked questions. I encouraged her to voice her concerns and fears; open communication became our lifeline. There are things I research, such as side effects of medications and treatments that she rather takes a waiting approach. When your partner battles cancer, it is not a one treatment fits all, they are customized to battle the type of cancer they are undergoing and what their pathology shows from the biopsy. Also, things can change during the treatment, but knowing more about the cancer your wife is battling helps give a better understanding to the journey she has.
Celebrating Every Step
Throughout treatment, we made it a point to celebrate every milestone, no matter how small. Whether it was completing a round of chemotherapy or simply having a good day, we took the time to acknowledge these victories. We celebrated her ending chemo with friends and family welcoming her home after her last treatment. We also celebrated her lab numbers increasing by her, me, and the boys getting out of the house and going to a Giants baseball game. Everyday is checking a box from a long list of treatments. Treatments can take a year + when your wife is battling cancer, and there are days that are very hard and days that feel like a normal day. You learn to celebrate those normal days.
Finding Strength in Vulnerability
Supporting my wife also meant being open about my own feelings. I struggled with fear and helplessness at times, but I learned that sharing these emotions only strengthened our bond. We leaned on each other, finding solace in our shared experience. There were days filled with tears and uncertainty, but there were also moments of laughter that reminded us of the joy still present in our lives. I also have friends that I could turn to for support, one in particular that his wife just got done with her breast cancer treatment. Talking and sharing your feelings is crucial. You don’t always want to express the hard days to your wife, because of what they are feeling so having your support helps immensely.
Building a Support Network
A long term goal for my wife is connecting with others facing similar challenges was invaluable. We shared stories, exchanged tips, and found encouragement in knowing they aren’t alone. In the mean-time, our village has been like no other. In times like these you learn who your friends are, and they show up like no others…. And you have to rely on them.
Emphasizing Self-Care
In the midst of treatment, I realized the importance of self-care for both of us. I needed to stay strong to support her effectively, and she needed moments of respite from the weight of her diagnosis. We made it a priority to go out for walks together at. During treatment, you become isolated from a lot of people and from doing things, so watching movies and doing family dinners together at night to keep a normal routine. In our home, we did a few things to help emphasize self care. We installed a water osmosis system, slept on a grounding mat at night, and started eating organic food. There are still a lot of things we would like to do in the house to ensure a healthy lifestyle and will continue to work and build on this in the future.
Honoring Her Warrior Spirit
Throughout this journey, I’ve witnessed the incredible strength of my wife. She is a true warrior, facing each challenge with grace and determination. I’ve been inspired by her resilience and her refusal to let cancer define her. Together, we’ve learned to embrace the unknown, celebrating every day as a gift.
Looking to the Future
As my wife continues her journey, we remain hopeful. She is still undergoing treatment and while the experience has forever changed us, it has also deepened our connection. She is getting ready to embark on radiation, which will last a month. We are committed to raising awareness about breast cancer, advocating for early detection, and sharing our story to inspire others facing similar battles.